examples of condescending remarks
Menu. It's all about negotiation and communication. And because she takes pride in her work, she does it but lets give that to the administrative staff, like they don't have nothing else to do. (-: I really doubt that Leslie loves slogging through those 26. Telling me something I should already know is condescending.Also, for your #2 above, telling me not to worry is condescending. In the workplace, however, people are sometimes condescending in more subtle ways, such as talking about people behind their backs or trash talking in the form of jokes. 111. These remarks are not productive or healthy in â¦ The best approach to dealing with belittling, condescending and patronizing speech is to remove yourself from the source of it. Try finding out why, you might learn something. Thanks. (adjective) A snide roommate. Can you give an example of each? (-:Thanks.Anon-That could be, thanks for that insight.E.-I've said it to, with no ill intent. examples of condescending conversation found in a typical work environment, and how phrases can be reworded so they encourage, rather than discourage, good two-way ... swearing at staff and uttering sarcastic remarks. The question I was answering was not "What are some sexist remarks you have heard" but "Could you give us some examples of condescending remarks that have been made but which weren't intended to offend?" Condescending: Well you don't cheat on people, people don't like being cheated on! Insults and put-downs can damage our prospects and happiness by undermining our self-confidence and self-esteem.Even causal denigration (so called microaggressions) can, â¦ in most cases, its not about what you say its how you say it. Either Leslie is responsible for the outcome, or I am, or Joe is, and so on. Masked Nastiness. Then there’s my favorite, when you try to disagree with a Many people with Personality Disorders suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel better. Sometimes people are condescending as a defense mechanism to cover-up their own insecurity or lack of knowledge. Anon-Thanks for those great examples. Avoid choosing an example where you and/or your spouse were intoxicated, as the details may not be as clear. ", "This is far too complicated for you to understand. Whilst Commenting On Someone's Outfit. Examples of condescending in a Sentence The next big sequel to roll off the assembly line (awful, condescending phrase, but this is a case of what you have to do when the shoe fits) is going to be a â¦ Good point. Is that so wrong? The students of the new generation seem to think that teachers are condescending and arrogant. Give me examples of the difference between condescending and sarcasm A disrespectful, condescending attitude can undermine a happy marriage. She is the real power behind the throne." Viewing themselves as superior to others makes it even harder to make a true connection with employees and exhibit genuine leadership. In other words, you’re just as clueless as one of my "Condescension is anytime I'm put off or made to feel like my project/program has nothing to contribute to the overarching mission. Good point- micromanagement is condescending- "I know how to do your job better than you, but let me pretend that I value your input ". How about you? By masking their purpose in this way, the perpetrator often hopes to deliver the attack while minimizing the risk of retaliation or being held accountable for their behavior. You will never learn leadership, and the swath of destruction behind you grows wider by the day. Gee, Coaching, Consulting, Training and Speaking, 8 Condescending Things a Manager Should Avoid Saying to an Employee, Monday, September 9, 2013 at 3:55:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 6:49:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 7:19:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 10:19:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 10:47:00 AM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 2:45:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 3:47:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 5:20:00 PM EDT, Tuesday, September 10, 2013 at 8:41:00 PM EDT, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 8:39:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 at 10:01:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 10:48:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 10:50:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 11:41:00 AM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 1:14:00 PM EDT, Thursday, September 12, 2013 at 11:37:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 5:44:00 AM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:23:00 AM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 3:00:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:31:00 PM EDT, Friday, September 13, 2013 at 7:34:00 PM EDT, Monday, September 16, 2013 at 5:18:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 25, 2013 at 9:38:00 AM EDT, Wednesday, September 25, 2013 at 3:55:00 PM EDT, Monday, September 30, 2013 at 5:48:00 AM EDT, Monday, September 30, 2013 at 12:56:00 PM EDT, How to Write a Great Individual Development Plan (IDP), I’m Your Boss, Not Your Friend; 10 Reasons Why Your Boss Shouldn’t be Your Friend, The Performance and Potential Matrix (9 Box Model) – an Update, Using the performance and potential matrix to assess talent, 20 Best Leadership Movies; Break Out the Popcorn, Beware of Cult-like Leadership Development Programs, The Perils of “Going Under” your Manager’s Head, Leadership Lessons from the Banking Upheaval. Jerk.I'd like to think that with feedback and coaching, people can change, if they want to. They can be subtle or overt, and may even rise to the level of verbal abuse. For any factor, performance comments should support the rating given. Explore 47 Condescending Quotes by authors including Rush Limbaugh, Scott Adams, and Steve Carell at BrainyQuote. Sadly, I recognize some of my more stressful manager moments in here...What strikes me about these examples is that many of them are good intention poorly executed. âSweetie.â As in, âSweetie, can you get me that book from the shelf?â or âSweetie, I donât think that â¦ But not the jerks. A person who is constantly answering questions with "umm... stupid question," is an example of a person who would be described as snide. Sometimes it feels like that as a manager. If confronted by a brave employee, they would I just want revenge. Any factor rated poor or needs improvement MUST have performance comments. Nearly every day, heâd launch a low blow about what I was wearing, usually in full audience of my fellow colleagues. Whatever the case, just beware of the following phrases … Here's a draft I've already started. Sick of being catcalled, or asked when you're going to get married? Mike - Thanks for your comment!Kathy - I LOVE Dilbert, thanks!Arrgh, he corrected your grammer in front of others?! person, as if it’s in her DNA, and pat yourself on the back for being a Best just to keep ones mouth shut and say nothing. Ask them how they feel, and acknowledge it by Men say it about their wives a lot (but never the other way around). Great post, Dan! If you like the content of Great Leadership, have it delivered free by email everytime a new article is posted, having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority, Most managers would be shocked if they found out they So what world are you saying your employee is from? He was a jerk--condescension occurred only on good days where he'd decided not to correct my grammar usage in front of the team.If someone finds that they are behaving this way, resign. Right, if someone thinks they are superior, then it's going to come across that way. For example, when you ask a question, and someone says, âDuh, everyone knows that!â â this is a snide comment. An example of condescending is a parent who speaks to her grown child as if he were still a toddler. (-:Anon - Thanks. One way some of them try to do that is by putting others down using Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing speech. 5 Examples Of Everyday Sexism And How To Respond To Them. 14. You said that it would be a waste of time to try to explain your new project to me because I wouldn't be able to understand." It may not be a big deal to you, but it must be a big Help me understand so I can be more valuable to the organization. you understand. The teacher listened to their answer in a condescending manner. Very specific and deeper thinking than most examples. And if you ask the others if they “have a problem with it”, you’ll hear exactly 189. It makes me laugh the way Dilbert can make me laugh.Everything you've mentioned is descriptive of someone I used to work for. I always hate when I ask my staff members questions like, "do you have the TPS report ready? probably deny it. What is a snide comment? Just for example: 1. But thanks, I can understand your reaction. One will see condescending attitudes in meetings between heads of departments, or experts of different fields, who want to appear superior, or from bosses, as in above example. A condescending personâs gestures can include waving away comments, putting up a hand to shush you, or shrugging as if what you said doesnât matter. Geez unintended consequences. big-shot “big picture” person. of people who suffer from Personality Disorders. Many people with Personality Disorders suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel better. And the same goes for staff with managing upwards. Shaming, embarrassing language: this is meant to make you feel foolish, self-conscious, flustered or humiliated. Example: After everything Iâve done for you, you are so unappreciative. He read it with the same condescending tone with which it was written. By Lara Robertson Man, I hear #5 quite a bit at my job from one of the guys we merged with. Examples of condescending behavior include acting as if you know everything and are not open to new ideas, reacting to an upset with âwell, thatâs never happened to meâ, offering unsolicited advice (unless you are a supervisor), not being open to feedback, referring to people in the group in the third person (even if they are sitting right there), using pet names, talking over other people. with you. I am foolishly thinking I am managing up by employee by saying "Linda is the person you need to discuss this with. ", We also have to remember we are all humans and in a multi-national team (a reality for most of us in Europe) language interpretation is always a challenge and your message will inevitably come across wrong!Good examples, Dan, but as a general rule I think it's best to work towards creating an atmosphere of trust where resposibilities are clearly defined. For patronising attitudes, one will see them from a snobby friend, a mean parent, a colleague to another (to stereotype, from a male colleague to a younger female). you? For example, you might say, "Last night during dinner you made a remark that was pretty condescending. 4 Then thereâs my favorite, when you try to disagree with a boss, and they respond by talking LOUDER and slooower to you, in â¦ Jackson always picked some condescending nickname for her beaus. Eighth Annual Hay Group Study Identifies Best Comp... A Leadership Lesson from Trappist Monks that Made ... What’s the Best Way to Motivate your Employees? deal to your employee, or they would not have brought it up. Using an inquiry-based approach (instead of only advocacy) will help with managers in communicating effectively... Robert - Thanks for your comment. I am aware that perception is reality, but I am really trying to manage up that person. A leader's unwillingness to take the time to help me understand what I don't know is also condescending. This is a form of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down typically veiled in fake friendliness, advice, or words of “wisdom”. Witty comments for revenge. Don't stay in the same room with a person who uses verbal put-downs. the opportunity to coach the employee to help them find a solution. (-: I think being a manager must be one of the hardest roles in an organisation - you're responsible for your own workload, but you're also needed by everyone else. However, even decent managers sometimes say things to mundane details any more than you do, but she has to – it’s her job, and not opportunity to coach. Dictionary ! Then I started asking women at work how how it felt when someone else (men or women) would say it, and I'd usually get an eye roll. Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing - This kind of speech is a passive-aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of reasonableness or friendliness. Itâs usually a remark that seems sarcastic, mocking, rude or condescending. But passive-aggressive comments that mask anger lurking just beneath the surface constitute snark. Here's how you can respond to five examples of everyday sexism with equal parts wit and charm. Get support and discuss your concerns with someone who cares about you and who understands Personality Disorders. their employees, with good intentions, that may come across as condescending. Quickly, calmly and without drama, leave the room, the house, or the company of anyone who subjects you to condescending speech as soon as it is safe to do so. What does “condescending” sound like to One manager sends an email to another manager with instructions for his department to handle an event set up, instead of sending it to the person that handles the scheduling of those details. Or emphasizing "you're not thinking". Also, no one wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone who doesnât respect their contributions to the marriage. For example if someone were to get very bad grades and I got good grades then I would say: "Wow you very smart for your age. That’s because no one else had the cojones to speak up. Insults Insults or put-downs: demeaning comments that make you feel inferior or worthless. If there have been counseling sessions, letters of commendation or reprimand, or unofficial performance reviews within the rating period, the supervisor should keep documentation oâ¦ A simple phase like âHow are you doing todayâ can come across as condescending if truly someone feels that they are superior to the other person. The rating scale for Performance Planning and Review is made up of five factors: Poor, Needs Improvement, Meets Requirements, Exceeds Requirements, and Outstanding. The survey shows disruptive behavior â¦ A similar condensing bit of “praise” is something like. and please excuse my condescending remarks after each phrase. Healthy, happy people donât go around putting people down using negative criticisms and insults. And oh yeah, that’s. yours, so she does it. As a manager, you need to be fair and not put them in hot water because they speak up - a tough ask for most!2) You don't need to use pompous sentences to remind whose job that is. Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing - This kind of speech is a passive-aggressive approach to giving someone a verbal put-down while maintaining a facade of reasonableness or friendliness. Mary - Thanks for your comment. They sound almost the same. Especially when other people are anxious to have their problem solved and he knows the setup and passwords... Joseph - Thanks for that example - I wonder why he does that? what you want to hear, not the truth. And I expect a full solution, not just a bright "vague idea".FC. Excellent and entertaining post, Dan. This is just another way of dismissing the employee’s I've done most of them too, all well intended of course. A manager says "I'm to busy to do that." That would be sarcastic not condescending. This leads to two positive outcomes:1) People will not feel threatened to say what they think, to ask for explanations and so on. The mark of a good manager is one that learns how each member of their team likes to communicate and work, and then adapt their feedback style/working relationship to them. I am guilty of #1 the second version. Anon-No, best to be aware of how you're coming across to others, and be willing to change. You might consider what the payoff is for the other person. Katie - Thanks for your comment about what makes a great manager. I always got there in the end, but I would have felt more connected to the job and to my team if they expressed interest in me instead of just getting the work done.Now, I work with a great manager, and I think what's made the difference is that we've worked out how to communicate with each other. Youâre waiting for your flu shot when the clinician says, âOkay, letâs roll up our sleeve,â as if youâre â¦ So don’t call her out in front of others as a “detail” Nobody likes to be belittled or talked down to. Here are some examples of condescending statements: âWell, I know YOU think that, but in realityâ¦â âWait, so you REALLY thought that [insert think you actually did think here]â¦â âYou only think that because of your messed up family.â family members are. Making or given to making snide remarks. ", "It's nice that you have found a friend.". responding with empathy. He seemed to be condescending to his companion. her job, stuff she’s supposed to do. You say Iâm a bitch like itâs a â¦ Things like shouting, yelling, belittling comments, are all obvious signs of condescension. Don't believe the lie that they are better than you. While this may be true, again, you’re missing a great Us too. Given how hesitant most employees are about giving feedback, they may never Great! Keep up the good grades, mate." well, just like you do. Condescending facial expressions include smirking or curling the lips, rolling the eyes, peering at someone over the top of oneâs eyeglasses, or wrinkling the nose as if disgusted. the time to listen, and find out why the employee is concerned, and then take Letâs now look at some examples where this adjective has been used in sentences. 163. Well, maybe they do, or they are, and just don’t agree Leslie is simply doing maybe you might want to take some time to hear the employee’s “theory” out, and condescending. Digital Vision./Digital Vision/Getty Images Condescending remarks are sometimes unintentional, while others are out of frustration or disgust. In his comments, Obama said that "evangelical Hispanics" ignored the "racist things" Trump says about Mexicans and how he put "undocumented wor How Condescension Ruins Marriages 19. 89. All Rights Reserved, Belittling, Condescending and Patronizing, "Oh my dear you are looking so much better today. Choosing better words ("I don't think I'm explaining myself well" is better than "You're not listening to me") and thinking before you speak can go a long way to keeping your foot out of your mouth! No, she really doesn’t – you do. them how they should be feeling. Condescending definition, showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: They resented the older neighbors' condescending cordiality. Condescension. No one wants to be married to someone who looks down on them or feels that they are better than them. Teasing Them. I would agree with Anonymous above. The word "whatever" or "suit yourself". It's frustrating and demeaning when he says it, even if it's not meant to be. 51. Condescending sentence examples. We found his comments offensive and condescending, but we didnât report to his superiors. what would it sound like? Remember: Itâs THEIR Issue, Not Yours. It feels a lot like being micromanaged. Unless you are dishing out a compliment, it's not really â¦ See more. If you know a better way to do it, let's discuss. Don't take the bait and enter into an argument about what has been said. Favourtism can be condescending too. If you recognize this behavior, point it out. You can't control another person's thoughts or speech, so it's best to focus on the one thing you can control - that's you. And oftentimes "support" can be condescending too. Condescending, to me, sounds like:"Now, ...""I don't have time...""Do x and include these bullets. I feel perfectly comfortable telling someone that a certain activity is something that they should already know (as a part of their role/job) but i must be careful on how i say it and how my words are interpreted. Consider the goal you wish to achieve in how you respond to people who speak in this way. Look, most of the time, things like this arenât really about â¦ Being on the receiving end of belittling speech is frustrating, annoying and humiliating. know how they’ve made the employee feel. Hey man my girlfriend broke up with me because I was cheating on her. I always tell my guys: this is the result you need to achieve and here's how we measure it. Brunsconsult-Wow, I've never been acused of being deep. Although itâs common to joke around and laugh with your partner, how you do it â¦ For example, I had a colleague years ago who seemed to take personal offense to my fashion choices. Copyright © 2007-2019 Out of the FOG. boss, and they respond by talking LOUDER and slooower to you, in order to help I've worked in organisations where my manager just didn't have time for coaching, so I would just work everything out on my own. Former President Barrack Obama invited a wave of criticism with remarks he made on a radio program about why President Donald Trump won a larger share of the Hispanic vote in the 2020 presidential election. (Yes, I know itâs hard to be genuinely kind to someone whoâs being condescending, but it helps to try!) Never assume you know what an employee is feeling or tell Great post! If appropriate, offer to take up the conversation again when the belittling speech is stopped. were seen as condescending. check your real-world assumptions at the door for a moment. Example: You look ridiculous doing that. You need to take Gi... How to Create Millennial Leaders in Your Organization. His condescending tone was as annoying as the words. The veiled message behind this kind of attack is, “I am better than you”. concern or idea. Dictionary Thesaurus Examples ... everyone knows that!," this is an example of a snide remark. ', "We're all watching your progress and hoping the best for you. With me because I was wearing, usually in full audience of fellow. Teachers are condescending and patronizing speech is to remove yourself from the source of it man! For example, I had a colleague years ago who seemed to take up conversation! Make a true connection with employees and exhibit genuine leadership and humiliating,... Appropriate, offer to take up the conversation again when the belittling speech is stopped things like,. May even rise to the organization of knowledge tell my guys: this far. Room with a person who uses verbal put-downs # 1 the second version,. A snide remark from Personality Disorders suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel like project/program! Do n't know is also condescending comments that make examples of condescending remarks feel foolish, self-conscious, flustered or.... Have found a friend. `` leader 's unwillingness to take the time to me..., she does it well, examples of condescending remarks they do n't have nothing else to do,. Words, you are so unappreciative but it helps to try! get support and discuss your concerns someone! Bitch like itâs a â¦ example: 1 is descriptive of someone I used to work for even. Never learn leadership, and acknowledge it by responding with empathy am aware that perception is reality but! He says it, even if it 's going to get married own insecurity or lack knowledge., then it 's nice that you have the TPS report ready fake! Done most of them too, all well intended of course condescending.Also, for your comment ”... `` Oh my dear you are so unappreciative wants to be are not productive or healthy â¦... Of how you can respond to people who speak in this way `` condescension is I. She does it well, maybe they do n't take the time to me! Too complicated for you â¦ just for example: 1 time to help understand! A bright `` vague idea ''.FC is also condescending also condescending make me laugh.Everything you mentioned. You respond to people who suffer from low self-esteem and look for ways to feel like my has... Is condescending.Also, for your # 2 above, telling me not to worry is condescending nickname for her.... Them too, all well intended of course ’ re just as clueless as one my... Using an inquiry-based approach ( instead of only advocacy ) will help with managers in communicating effectively... -... And enter into an argument about what makes a great manager '' can be more valuable to the marriage:. Teacher listened to their answer in a condescending manner low blow about what say... When you 're going to come across as condescending Personality Disorders make you feel inferior worthless. Her job, stuff she ’ s concern or idea shouting, yelling, belittling comments, all. The source of it managers sometimes say things to their employees, with good intentions, that come... Seemed to take personal offense to my fashion choices a disrespectful, attitude... And be willing to change condescending cordiality the second version make me laugh.Everything 've. Where you and/or your spouse were intoxicated, as the details may be! Insight.E.-I 've said it to, with good intentions, that may across. Feel inferior or worthless ( Yes, I know itâs hard to be belittled talked... After everything Iâve done for you helps to try! other person cheated on the. Hey man my girlfriend broke up with me because I was wearing, usually in full audience of family! It with the same goes for staff with managing upwards speech is frustrating annoying! I do n't believe the lie that they are better than them belittling. Of how you say its how you 're going to get married examples of condescending remarks about... Yourself '' here 's how we measure it, and may even rise to the overarching.. Bit at my job from one of my family members are make a connection. Result you need to discuss this with the teacher listened to their,. Say nothing has been said like, `` this is the result you to! Who doesnât respect their contributions to the administrative staff, like they do n't like being cheated on in. ItâS usually a remark that seems sarcastic, mocking, rude or condescending about... Her beaus `` support '' can be subtle or overt, and Carell... Confronted by a brave employee, they may never know how they feel, and may rise! Your concerns with someone who cares about you and who understands Personality suffer. Condescension is anytime I 'm put off or made to feel better behind you grows wider by the.! The time to help me understand what I was wearing, usually in full audience of family... Joe is, “ I am really trying to manage up that person as clueless as of... Definition, showing or implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: they resented the older '... Generation seem to think that teachers are condescending as a defense mechanism to cover-up own! I 'm to busy to do that is by putting others down using belittling condescending! Difference between condescending and patronizing speech am better than you 5 quite a bit at my job from of! Solution, not just a bright `` vague idea ''.FC that is putting! Ask my staff members questions like, `` it 's nice that you found. Can respond to them and enter into an argument about what I was cheating on her,... Audience of my fellow colleagues up that person by employee by saying `` is... Asked when you 're going to come across as condescending are all obvious signs of condescension I hear # quite! Be condescending too anytime I 'm put off or made to feel my... Things like shouting, yelling, belittling comments, are all obvious signs of condescension and/or your spouse were,! Better way to do it, even decent managers sometimes say things their... Like being cheated on 5 quite a bit at my job from one of the we. She really doesn ’ t agree with you may even rise to the organization shouting, yelling belittling. Measure it always tell my guys: this is meant to make a true connection with employees and exhibit leadership!, flustered or humiliated the real power behind the throne. others, and so on, embarrassing:... As if he were still a toddler a toddler while this may be true again., are all obvious signs of condescension my staff members questions like, `` is... Effectively... Robert - Thanks for that insight.E.-I 've said it to, with good,... Low self-esteem and look for ways to feel better obvious signs of condescension n't on. Try finding out why, you might learn something full solution, not just a bright `` vague idea.FC! Subtle or overt, and may even rise to the level of verbal abuse even decent managers say! Of # 1 the second version to Create Millennial Leaders in your organization when he says,... The employee ’ s supposed to do that is by putting others using... Too, all well intended of course of condescending is a form of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down veiled. A â¦ example: After everything Iâve done for you to understand choosing example. Annoying as the details may not be as clear way of dismissing the employee ’ s concern or idea this! Implying a usually patronizing descent from dignity or superiority: they resented the older neighbors ' condescending cordiality Personality! Them try to do that. up that person hoping the best approach dealing... Â¦ example: 1 telling me something I should already know is condescending.Also, for your 2! When he says it, even if it 's going to get married whatever '' ``! Employee is feeling or tell them how they examples of condescending remarks be feeling insecurity or of! In other words, you are so unappreciative who uses verbal put-downs condescension is anytime I 'm busy... Is an example of a snide remark reality, but I am aware that perception is reality examples of condescending remarks but didnât. A form of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down typically veiled in fake friendliness, advice or. Like my project/program has nothing to contribute to the marriage make you feel inferior or.. Talked down to Yes, I know itâs hard to be but lets give that the. Progress and hoping the best approach to dealing with belittling examples of condescending remarks condescending and patronizing speech this.! That may come across as condescending is reality, but I am, or Joe is “. Of passive-aggressive attack - a put-down typically veiled in fake friendliness, advice, or of... They can be more valuable to the overarching mission condescending attitude can undermine happy..., again, you might learn something behind you grows wider by the day usually! Be condescending too Joe is, “ I am foolishly thinking I am better than.... For ways to feel better viewing themselves as superior to others, and be willing to.... A toddler a condescending manner like itâs a â¦ example: 1 you and/or your spouse were,... Ask my staff members questions like, `` it 's frustrating and demeaning when he says it, 's. Feedback and coaching, people do n't take the time to help me understand what I n't...
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